- We love ourselves more than we love others, but we care more about others’ opinions than of our own.
- What happens when you think of doing something new, something different that your current group? A flood of thoughts fills up our minds. How would people react? What if everyone makes fun of me? What if they didn’t care about what I had to present? Who am I to do it?
- Fear of being judged. Fear of being disliked. Fear of starting a business. Fear of standing in front of an audience. Fear of doing anything other than the ordinary. Fear of achieving our true potential.
- But it isn’t entirely our fault if we try to be more like others around us. We evolved this way. A few centuries ago, being alone may have meant death, whether due to the weather, lack of food or shelter, or even the wildlife. Hundreds of years ago, being social was essential for our survival. To hunt alone might have been impossible. So as humans, we evolved to be more social beings.
- Times have changed now, and we don’t have these problems to the same extent as we used to. To some extent, we don’t need to be a part of a group for our survival.
- So we have different problems now. Now, everything we think, show, and present has to be validated by others with likes and emojis; otherwise, it’s not worth pursuing. Today with social media apps, we can immediately see how many people support us.
- When something doesn’t get as much attention as it should, we switch back to what works and deny ourselves the opportunity to try something new. Over time, we show only a certain mindset and lose touch with our actual true selves. We say and speak things that are friendly and acceptable and are algorithmically correct.
- Stop worrying about what other people think and start living your life authentically. Being concerned about what others think is great, but it is hurtful to you if you become someone you are not just to fit in.
- The world is full of different kinds of people with all sorts of hobbies, jobs, skills, and ambitions. So if you don’t fit in with people around you and your current group, change groups and make yourself more comfortable with another group.
- Our society has specific rules which we must follow, and those who do not follow are judged. Throughout the day, we are being judged – in the classroom, at the place of worship, at work, everywhere. For society to function properly, everyone must adhere to it. Don’t let expulsion from a group be a reason that makes you forget who you really are.
- A person with an individual mindset would be more selfish than a scared person who adheres to society’s values and opinions. There will be times when we start questioning our beliefs. When that happens, we should not hold back our dreams because of what people we grew up with might think.
- Take a moment to reflect, then make your own decisions. Don’t let the fear of being disliked and judged hold you back. If you want to drop out of school for the right reasons, don’t worry about what people would think? If you want to be with someone from another religion for the right reasons, don’t worry about what people would think?
- It is not freedom if you do not dare do what you want. It is not freedom if you refuse to stand firm for what you believe in even when the majority is against it.
- Sure, it’s not easy to be disliked because you’re not only going against society but also against your biology. Dare to be yourself and do not fear being disliked. Remember that everyone is plagued by their own insecurities, and most are just worried about themselves. Understand that sometimes, when others oppose you, it shows their limits, not yours. Sometimes, people say things to put themselves in a good light. They might even say it to seek your validation.
- Each of us wishes others to understand us and be more like us. A happily married man would desire others to be in happy relationships. Singles wish their friends currently in relationships were single. Someone who has been divorced may shed light on the benefits of being alone. We are all rooting for the team we play for. We are all rooting for the people who are like us.
- The technology on our phones makes it possible for everyone and anyone to have an opinion about us. Today, we are forced to consider some people’s views whose advice we might not even seek otherwise. In many cases, we have no choice but to acknowledge and respond to a stranger on the net and allow them into our minds. Accepting people into our lives and our heads is a choice we make. We can also use that same technology to meet up with another different group if we wish.
- Have the courage to be disliked and be the person you always wanted to be.
But that’s just my take. Comment and share yours.
If this topic interests you and you’re curious to learn more – check out this book through this Amazon affiliate link that I thoroughly enjoyed – The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness