All of us want to become better. Better for ourselves, better for friends and family, and better at work. Yet why does growth seem so hard? It’s not like we don’t know what’s good for us, so why do we find it so hard to do what’s best for us?
The reason could be who we are as a person. So what do we do when we want to change? We make plans and habits to change ourselves, and, in a way, try to be someone we are not. Consequently, it’s not our habits that need to change; it’s our personalities.
Let’s start by figuring out why you want to change. What do you want to accomplish? What are you unable to accomplish because of who you believe you are? What are you unable to get because of your present identity?
You behave the way you do because of how you feel about yourself at the moment. So how do you think of yourself, and how do you view your self-image? This is what you must first change; your identity, your self-image. Changing your identity is changing yourself at the most fundamental level.
We could all have multiple identities. There may be a part of you that wants to accomplish great things. There might be a you who want to play a sport. There might be a you who wants to experience new things. There might be a you who want to work all the time.
Perhaps there is a part of you that is constantly stressed, gossiping, and full of drama. There may be a part of you that sleeps late or eats junk food a lot. Maybe there is a you that drinks a lot. There could be a you who smokes a lot and one that wastes too much time.
There are some things that are good for you and some that are bad. You know what they are. You like some parts of yourself but not all. Which one would you like to work on the most? Whichever of “your identities and habits” you focus on most becomes who you are.
You need to know that they are all you. You can be whoever you want, whenever you want. With small wins, you can change how you think about yourself and achieve the outcome you desire.
If you feel you’re fat, perhaps you have a character identity that likes to munch a lot. However, you could also think of yourself as someone who has a great physique. Each of them is part of you, and the average of them is who you are today.
You cannot say that you are incapable of change. Your identity is not set in stone; it’s a choice. Your identity can be changed, and when you do that, your priorities can be based on that new identity.
Let’s take your favorite athlete as an example. How would you describe their current identity? What do they spend most of their time doing? Have they always been like this? If you want to achieve something, become the person who can accomplish the things you want to get.
Imagine the end result and build your identity around it in order to become the person you desire to be. What would your typical day look like then? What would you do with your time once you have achieved it? From there, extrapolate backwards and act accordingly.
Ultimately, change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Your growth is a choice. So, if you want to change, then rather than trying to break your habits, change yourself and become different YOU altogether.
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