So, get this, I was chatting with my buddy yesterday, right? She’s been living in Toronto for years but is packing her bags to leave.
Do you know why? She told me she hasn’t been able to make solid friends. Can you imagine?
Living in a city for years and feeling like you’re among strangers?
This got me wondering about how tricky it really can be to make genuine friends in a big city.
It’s kinda funny, right? You’re surrounded by millions of people, but you might still feel lonely.
Imagine you’re on a busy train, or maybe in a crowded park or café.
Everyone’s got their heads down, busy with their own lives. They’re either glued to their phones or rushing to get somewhere.
It feels like no one has time to stop, chat, or make new friends. Everyone’s always moving, always busy.
And let’s not forget about how often people move in and out of big cities. Just when you think you’ve found a good buddy, they might announce they’re moving to another city for a new job or to study.
Making friends, the real sorts takes time. It’s not an instant noodle recipe that’s ready in two minutes. It’s more like a slow-cooked stew, it gets better with time.
You might be surrounded by tons of people in a city, but it’s easy to feel invisible.
You can walk down the street without anyone recognizing you or knowing your name.
That might be cool for some, but it also means it’s harder to make real friends.
Moreover, a big city is full of people from different places, with different tastes, and different ways of living.
While that’s exciting to me, it can also make it harder to find people who actually ‘get’ you, people who share your vibe.
But, it’s not all gloom. Living in a big city also means you get to meet all sorts of people, people who might surprise you, teach you new things and become great friends.
“Strangers are just friends waiting to happen.”
Rod mckuen
So, what’s the secret recipe for making friends in a big city?
One ingredient is certainly time. You’ve got to make time for people.
It could be grabbing a coffee together, working out together, hiking together, joining a book club, or catching a movie now and then.
Also, don’t forget your phone isn’t just for work emails or endless scrolling. It can help you make friends too.
There are loads of apps out there that can connect you with people who share your hobbies and interests.
Maybe you’ll find your next best friend on a running app, or someone who loves playing board games as much as you do on a meetup nearby.
Lastly, we need to remember that it’s okay for some friendships to be short.
I feel I’m lucky.
“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”
Winnie the Pooh
Some friends will stick around for a long time, and some will leave sooner.
Each one, hopefully, will leave you with some good memories.
So yes, making real friends in a big city can be hard.
But it’s not mission impossible.
With some effort and a bit of luck, you can find friends who will make the big city feel a little bit like home.
