You know, some of my friends and family often look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them that several times a week, I voluntarily put on a heavy cotton uniform, walk into a room with other grown adults, and spend hours letting them try to simulate my death through various forms of strangulation and joint manipulation.
I’m talking about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and it’s one of the most transformative practices I’ve encountered in my personal life.
But this topic isn’t just about BJJ – it’s about a fascinating psychological phenomenon that I’ve observed in successful individuals across all walks of life: the deliberate seeking of adversity.
Now, most people’s natural instinct is to avoid discomfort at all costs. Our brains are wired for comfort, for safety, for the path of least resistance.
And yet, there’s this small subset of individuals who consistently move toward challenge, toward discomfort, toward ‘voluntary adversity.’
In my experience and from all the biographies I’ve read of successful people – from athletes to entrepreneurs – this willingness to embrace voluntary adversity is one of the most reliable predictors of long-term success and psychological resilience.
I mean think about it – in nature, any system that never faces stress becomes weak and fragile. Your muscles need resistance to grow. Your immune system needs exposure to pathogens to strengthen. Your mind, as it turns out, needs adversity to develop resilience.
Let me share a personal example from my BJJ journey. I was initially inspired to start BJJ by watching some of my favorite podcasters like Joe Rogan and Lex Fridman, both accomplished black belts in the art.
It took me 17 months to earn my blue belt – that’s 17 months of showing up 4-5 times a week, dealing with minor injuries, strained joints, and more importantly, a bruised ego. Every single training session was a choice to face discomfort.
Every time I got tapped out by someone smaller or less experienced, it was a lesson in humility. Every time I felt like quitting but showed up anyway, it was building something far more valuable than just physical skills.
Now, this is where it gets interesting from a psychological perspective. The benefits of voluntary adversity extend far beyond the specific challenge you’re taking on.
When you regularly put yourself in challenging situations by choice, you develop a ‘discomfort tolerance buffer.’ This buffer becomes an incredible asset in dealing with life’s involuntary challenges.
Think about it this way: if you’ve never voluntarily faced adversity, when life throws an unexpected challenge at you, it feels like a 10 out of 10 on your personal stress scale.
But if you regularly engage in voluntary adversity, if you’re used to being uncomfortable, suddenly life’s unexpected challenges might feel like a 5 or a 6 or 7. You’ve built up your resilience through practice.
This is what I’ve found helpful for dealing with everyday challenges and work stress.
It might be Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, it might be cold showers, it might be public speaking, or it might be training for a marathon.
The specific activity doesn’t matter as much as the principle: regularly choosing to do hard things makes you better at handling hard things.
But here’s the crucial part – it has to be voluntary. There’s something psychologically powerful about choosing your struggles rather than having them thrust upon you.
When you choose the adversity, you maintain a sense of control. You’re not a victim of circumstances; you’re the architect of your own development.
I see this clearly on the BJJ mats. The same choke that makes a newer student panic and tap immediately might be merely uncomfortable for a more experienced practitioner.
The difference isn’t just physical – it’s psychological. The experienced practitioner has developed ‘panic immunity’ through repeated exposure to controlled stress.
This brings us to an important question: how do we select the right kind of voluntary adversity?
The key is to choose challenges that are:
- Progressive – they get harder as you improve
- Measurable – you can track your progress
- Sustainable – you can practice them long-term without permanent damage
- Community-based – you have others on the same path
Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu happens to tick all these boxes, but it’s certainly not the only path. The important thing is to find your own form of voluntary adversity – something that scares you a little, challenges you a lot, and keeps you coming back for more.
Remember, comfort is a modern luxury, but it’s not always our friend. Our ancestors didn’t have to seek out adversity – it found them plenty often enough.
But in our comfortable modern world, we need to deliberately introduce controlled stress into our lives to stay strong, adaptable, and resilient.
