What Is True Friendship?

Make sure you get it right – The requirements and foundation of a true friendship.

• It is said that we are the average of five people we hang out with most. Would that be true for you?

• Have you ever thought about the people around you? Who are they? Where are they from? What do they do? What do you like about them? Who are your closest friends? Why? Why do you call them your friends? What is it that you like about them so much? In what ways are you like them? In what ways are you different?

• Every individual is different. We all have different mindsets, are in various phases of life, are a part of different cultures, come from diverse households, got different personalities, and have varied goals and desires. However, the people we’re closer to should all share this fundamental quality – they should accept you without judgment. There are healthy boundaries to keep, but they accept you as you are.

• Be honest, do you always feel close to all your friends? To all of them? Always? No, right? Problems arise when you feel that you were close to someone before, but now feel like you’re not accepted by them. When you don’t feel like you’re being heard and whatever you give into your friendship isn’t enough, then there is a problem. When you’re held to a standard you can’t possibly meet, it’s a problem.

• How do you and your friends decide what is the right way to live? Whether being an introvert is better than being an extrovert? Whether abstaining from alcohol is better than consumption? Whether a high-fat food should fill you with joy or guilt? Is the joy of missing out (JOMO) better than the fear of missing out (FOMO)? Doing one thing doesn’t make it necessarily better than the other. So, in the end, as long as your decision doesn’t harm anyone, you’re right whatever you choose.

• People remain the same, more or less, unless they force themselves to change. Unfortunately for you, that means the people you hang out with could have flaws detrimental to you. So, you got two options. You can either accept them as they are, or you can show them a different side, instead of changing your friend for your own good.

• It’s common for us to attract and get attracted to those similar to us. Situations change with time, and when circumstances change, people change, and you change. There’s a high chance that your childhood best friend might not be your best when you’re 60. You’ll grow apart if you have different personalities and your values no longer align.

• A true friend won’t feel bad when you say NO to them. Saying NO is only a way to get to know a friend better. It should tell more about likes and dislikes and only strengthen the bond, not weaken it.

• Friends allow you to be vulnerable, understand you, cheer you up when you’re down, and most importantly, they care about things that matter to you. Nevertheless, you can’t expect them to always understand you.

• In any relationship, you cannot just be a yes man, be silent, and expect people to understand your needs. You need to speak up for yourself. Friends who want to stay will understand, and those who don’t, well, you’re better off without them anyway.