Control Is Just an Illusion

Life often seems like a well-organized jigsaw puzzle where every piece fits perfectly together, creating a clear and complete picture. But sometimes, just one unexpected event can show us that we’re not really in control of how the pieces come together.

Take the story of my friend, Ella, a character who loves control and predictability. As a project manager in a tech firm, Ella had her life charted out like a blueprint.

Every morning started with a 6 a.m. jog, followed by a meticulously planned day at work and evenings spent on courses for her upcoming MBA. Her weekends were reserved for meal prepping and visiting her aging parents.

Ella’s life was a series of checkboxes, and she ticked them with precision.

On what seemed like another ordinary Tuesday, Ella’s routine was shattered. A sudden phone call during her morning jog interrupted her thoughts—her father had suffered a stroke and was hospitalized.

The news hit her like a storm, turning her well-organized life into chaos. As she rushed to the hospital, her mind raced through her meticulously planned schedules and deadlines, all of which paled in comparison to her father’s health.

Over the next few weeks, Ella found herself spending nights in hospital chairs, her work laptop balanced on her knees, struggling to meet deadlines. Her visits to the gym were replaced by hours navigating the complexities of healthcare. Meal preps turned into whatever could be grabbed from the hospital cafeteria. The MBA seemed like a distant dream.

Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.

Epictetus

Ella, who had lived by her calendars and reminders, found herself at the mercy of something far greater and unpredictable.

This unexpected turn of events forced Ella to realize how fragile her sense of control was.

Life, with its own plans and unpredictabilities, had taken the driver’s seat, reminding her that despite our best efforts, we are often passengers on a journey mapped out by unforeseen circumstances.

Months passed, and her father slowly recovered.

Ella’s life began to find a new normal, a rhythm that was less controlled and more adaptive.

She learned to prioritize differently, appreciating the unplanned moments, like the spontaneous conversations with her father during his recovery, which would never have fit into her previous schedules.

Ella’s story shows life’s unpredictable nature.

It shows a simple truth, we might guide our ship with confidence, thinking we control our path, but unexpected events can change our direction, showing us that we’re not always in control.

Instead, life is a dance of planning and adaptation, a lesson in humility and resilience.

In recognizing this, we may find a deeper sense of peace in our journey, knowing that while we cannot control everything, we can adapt, learn, and grow from whatever life throws our way.